The Last Chapter

"But I can't. Don't you get it? I can't. I just cannot."

"Write it. Do you trust me? Just do it. Write it."

His tone was oddly fierce and cajoling if that was even possible.

She had been stuck on the last chapter for a year now. Hitting the delete button had become more of a habit than a necessity. Nothing seemed good enough anymore. All the serenity in the world hadn't contributed to that one last chapter. Three hundred and six pages later, one chapter seemed like a child's play. But my oh my, wasn't it the hardest thing to do right now.

He had been supportive, even encouraging throughout her journey. From pulling all nighters to brainstorming, he'd been there through it all. He had borne the wrath of the worst of her mood swings and been pleasantly surprised to find the otherwise frazzled and focused woman unwind with a glass wine and the crass music that she enjoyed so dearly.

She had always dreamed of this day. Running a finger over her words in print had always been the dream. To finally see the heaps of papers strewn across the room be bound and propped in shelves in book hubs had been the day she wanted to live to see. 'One day', she had always told herself. One day I will make it there. And that day was today. 

It was here. 

Why were her footsteps so uncertain now? Why did her fingers shake as she took to the typewriter? Why was her mind dragging her in ten inconspicuous directions when all she wanted to do was finish that one last chapter?

The answer lay in her final question.

Flashbacks had become a constant now. Her otherwise flawed memory had recorded that day as flawlessly as ever. The day she broke down, one last time. That day, that precise minute when everything seemed like a conspiracy closing in on her. She could still feel how the end had choked her up to the extent where she still had nightmares of being gagged by a shadow. A ghost of her past.

The first nine chapters had been fuelled by the anguish, the emptiness and the emotional inability to cope with life. When her words started filling up the hollow back hole that her past had left behind, she started to heal. Life wasn't just tolerable anymore, it was pleasant. Might even dare to call it happy every once in a while.

The spirit that she had now developed resembled that of a cripple who had defied every prediction of never being able to be the same again. She had done it, normalcy was just a few footsteps away now.

All she had to do was to reach out. Reach out to the world and be a part of them again, and then they would finally stop looking at her with pity. How she hated that. Pity. What an ugly emotion to be subjected to.

It had taken her just five months to cut through nine long chapters. But now? It was draining out. The hurt, the inaccessibility, the pain. Her wounds were healing. The catastrophe had struck, done the damage and was now slowly but steadily seeping out of her system.

She had started smiling more often. Gaps were bridging. Reality had finally manoeuvred across her dreams.

 And now, one year later, she was still struggling with the last chapter. She needed one striking tragedy to get her through the end. Such was the hypocrisy of fate. Happiness had now become her worst enemy. 

It pained him to see her struggle to ward off happiness. He'd promised her he'd do everything to keep those tears from spilling again, but his promises were becoming her worst enemy. He loved her like no man could love another woman, and thus, he smiled. He smiled as he wrote the last line of a what could possibly be the last letter. His jaw clenched and his temple throbbed, but he remained undeterred. He took one last look at her, and his lip trembled as he took his first step away from her.

She awoke the next morning to a ruthless letter haphazardly written about how he had found something better and that he had to answer his calling. The stains on the otherwise merciless tone of the words gave it away and she smiled in remorse.

He had given her what she needed and more. A tragedy brought upon by a seamless ocean of love. 

And thus took form, the beginning of the last chapter.