Will You Please Not Be My Valentine?

It's here. The week I dreaded.

Probably the only time of the year that scares me more than the exam week.

Second week of Feb, the Valentine Week.

Everywhere I go, I see red. I see hearts. I see teddy bears and overpriced chocolate gift packs. 

When I say everywhere, I mean e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e.

 You look away from one puffed heart and look straight into another lump of red. I mean come on, that's not even what your heart really looks like.

I choke on my cup of tea (I'm anti- coffee ever since "Do you want to get coffee?" was qualified for a pickup line.)  when someone I know says "What should I get her for Valentine's?" A spoonful of reality topped with a sprinkle of 'act-your-age' I want to say. But I don't.

I'm not against professing love, believe me. I swoon at the mention of romance. But timed romance? Once a year? It puts me off the concept of Valentine's Day. There's 365 days in a year and the only time you put thought and efforts into making someone feel special is on the 14th of February? It doesn't even sound like a romantic date! You don't need one day of the year to try and get someone to fall in love with you. 

Love doesn't always mean Red. Go buy him something in his favorite color instead of dumping blinding red gifts on him for the love of God. 

You have the most vague and non-romance related organizations and companies pushing you to "Ask her to be your Valentine." Sorry to burst your bubble, but Saint Valentine was a martyr. In the literal sense, you're asking her to lay down your life for you.

Yeah, awkward.

I'm a die hard romantic but I believe in romance across the year.

The day someone walks up to me without a trace of red and says, "Will you not be my Valentine but my everything else?", I'll hold on to him for life and never let go.

Life Goes On.

There's one special friend that everyone has. 
He's not your boyfriend, he's not your bestfriend and he isn't your brother. He's just..him. 
Someone you can fall back on, someone you call when the tears won't stop falling. Someone who will disgust you with unnecessary details of his life and you will do the same. Someone whose abuses mean more to you than foot-long promises of undying friendship.

This friend, he becomes a part of your life and a huge one at it, all of a sudden.
Out of nowhere, he's your comfort pillow, your gossip monger, your sorority sister and your confidante. 

Then one fine day, he shatters your heart.
It's astounding how just a couple of words strung together can wrench your heart.
Suddenly, you'll find yourself wondering who the hell the person on the other side of the phone is. You won't want to believe that this is the same person who you'd crouch in front of when the world failed you.
Then, you'll forgive and forget.
Until it happens again.

You'll cry a river again and yet again you'll forgive and forget.
How can you not? After all, you don't let go of a part of your life so easily.
But then, it'll happen again.

And you'll wonder.. "How much does he even know me?"
You'll look back and shed a tear on all happy, gay memories and you'll open your eyes to reality and shed several more for what it is today.

It's not the end of the world. Life goes on.

He wasn't your boyfriend. He wasn't your bestfriend. He wasn't the person you grew up with. He was just him. The person who left as abruptly as he had come.
You won't cry a river anymore. There's only a certain number of tears you can cry for a person. And you cried them dry.
You wake up the next day like it was a bad dream and get on with your life. Stronger, robust and empowered.
Life doesn't end when people leave, you carry their memories with you to your grave.
You smile when certain things you do remind you of them. You cry when you're shipwrecked and pick up the phone only to put it down again. You reach out, only to retreat.

You're a whirlwind of perplexity.
But you're not over. Life goes on.

Crumble.

When Miley Cyrus was young and clothed, she'd said "Life's a Climb, but the view is great."
Back then it was just another dialogue and I was busy drooling over Lucas Till. Today, five years later it all makes sense. 
When you can see the world around you crashing down and you don't know where to hide. 
When you can see the strongest of support systems buckling under the weight.
When you can feel the most bound ropes slip away.
When you think you've hit rock bottom. It feels like you're helpless and maybe you are, but what you aren't is someone who gives up easily. 
You're strong and you don't need me telling you that. You know it, deep down you know it but you're too afraid to say it out loud.

Life isn't a cookie. People are going to disappoint you at every turn. And believe me they will. You don't give in to those that lead you to believe you aren't good enough. You don't let them blindfold you and walk you to your doom.
You stand back up, dust it off and strut away into oblivion. That's what you do.
Cause you hold the reigns to your life, not somebody else. As much as you'd want to sit back and let someone else take control of your life, you can't. They can't.

The most trusted friends are going to turn their backs on you. You can't conquer a corner or weep to your pillow.
Ms. Perfect is going to thrust signs of imperfection in your face. You don't give up on love and become a loner. 

Your life is like the Castle of Cards. The swiftest of winds is going to blow you back to Square One. But if there is a Square One, there is also the Final Destination. And you'll get there. If you want to get there.
It seems like such an effort to build it back up after it's been destroyed time and again. But when you get there, when you finally do build it up, there's nothing that can make you more proud. Sheer effort and willpower is all it takes to build it up when it's been taken down.

Believe that you are much bigger a person than those who lust for your downfall. 

You've got one life. If you let someone else live it for you, is it really worth it? 

Live it up, or watch it crumble.