The Pride and The Bridegroom

Girl and boy meet. Fall in love. Get married. Have kids. Live happily ever after. 

It's wonderful to trace this story line in the marvelous novels I indulge in. But real life is a little more complicated than that. A lot, maybe.

It's not exactly a foreign concept. You have either felt it yourself or seen it happen to someone else. Either way, it happens and extensively so.

If you managed to secure your happy ending the moment your stumbled across your happy beginning, you're one hell of a lucky woman. Hold on to it.

Blame the nerves or blame the pride, either way, you don't see him stepping down and giving up where he should. No, he gives up where he shouldn't. Unless he's Nathan Scott. 

The male domination that supposedly trailed away centuries ago has left behind traces in a man or two.

From what I hear, there's a theory that allows a man to have an extra marital affair and denies his spouse the right for the same. I don't have details on this theory because frankly, it seemed too horrific a statement and I'd hate to have it proven to me.

"Any man that flirts with you will be murdered in his bed." That coming from a guy who flits from flower to flower without having to pay nectar tax. Real smooth, no?

More than just once I've overheard a girl complaining about how he is 'behaving weird'. Heck, I've been that girl more times than I can remember.

I want some time off. 

I can't deal with you right now.

Leave me be for sometime, alright?

Why do I even do things for you?

Do what you want, just please don't annoy me.

There's barely ever any reasoning for these. Felt it, said it, got away with it.

If you have someone that you know will never leave your side, never leave theirs. One of the biggest mistakes we make these days is to take people for granted. We test their patience till they lose it all and if you're really late at scampering, you might just lose it all. And if that doesn't scare you, I don't know what can.

It's never too late to make someone feel loved. For there's a reason why some stay back and endure your 'weird' phase. Those who stay hold their ground for a reason, one that doesn't always make sense. But they're there. And that's what matters. That's what should matter.

So, swallow the pride or pass off on the bride.
The choice is yours!

How Mental is Judgemental?

Stereotype: A fixed, over generalized belief about a particular group or a class of people.
That's how my Psychology text book defined it. I swore by it until of course, I stumbled by the real deal.

Anyone with a tattoo is immediately categorized as 'wasted'.
If I love books, it's taken for granted that I have no wild side and that I am a nerd.
A girl who wears what she likes is someone with no values and God forbid if something were to happen to her, she definitely 'asked for it'.
Everyone with a beard and a moustache isn't a terrorist for God's sake.
Stereotyping doesn't just involve having a 'fixed, over generalized belief', it tends to draw some people away from the crowd and be looked down upon. It forms the thin line between what is considered normal and abnormal. It divides, and it rules.

Knowingly or unknowingly you're judging someone at every casual glance you cast. It's not always words that make your point. All that sniggering, raised eye brows, muffled laughs and pointing fingers qualifies too.
Congratulations, you have kept alive the tradition that came from God knows where and became an every day thing for everybody with the ability of forming an opinion.

When I write an article about a heartache you take it for granted that some boy trashed my heart and walked all over it.
Maybe that happened. Maybe not. Or maybe I'm just so good at what I do that I recreated a story from scratch and compelled you to confuse it with reality.
And at this precise moment, you're calling me a pompous rat.

If you ask me, unnecessary judgement and frail stereotyping is taking us down with much more force than dowry, casteism or global warming ever will.
Okay, maybe not the global warming but you know what I mean.

I want to be able to wear a pair of shorts and not be labelled 'easy'.
I want to be able to sport my glasses and not be called 'nerdy'.
I want to hang out with my guy friends till whenever I want and not fear being the 'girl who is always with boys- question her character'.
I want sarees to be as cool as tank tops.

I want to skip all the parts where prejudice gets the better of me. 

I'm genuinely sick of being cast into boxes according to my appearance and my behavior that changes every few months anyway. Aren't you?

How fair is it to chalk out someone's life span based on the hour long account that you've had of them?
How sensible is it to form an opinion about someone you don't know?
How stupid is it to carry on this tradition that's nothing but well, stupid?

How mental is judgemental, really?

One of a Kind

She was never like the rest of them.
She was more of a messy hair bun and oversized glasses than cascading luscious hair and a blood red lipstick. A new book caught her attention more than a new dress. An old yellow Classic with splattered ink made her swoon.
She wasn't from the other world, but she had just about a touch of normal.
Some would call her mad. But then again, she embraced that madness. There was a hint of serenity in her otherwise chaotic soul.
The madness drove her. Pushed her. Even though it meant being pushed away from certain heart fluttering moments, she floated on in the direction the madness drew her in.

In the ever confused world of impersonations where everyone wanted to be like someone and wanted her to be more like someone, she was at peace with herself. Well, almost.
In the short, terminal life that she led, she was labelled, judged, vehemently isolated and jeered at more than just once. So when someone jabbed at her heart until it broke, she didn't quite fret about it. It wasn't new to her. Nothing new at all.

She floated on as time would have her to. She ventured into new pastures, each greener than the previous. She gathered many a time bound friends on her journey to the final destination of happiness. Each took leave with every step taken. It's a cycle, she told herself. One should go for another to arrive. And she smiled, yet again. A smile fainter than what it used to be. But a smile, nevertheless.

Alone she may have been, but the journey she had taken was after all through the icy needles of society. It took from her. And oh boy, it took from her.
Her shoulders hunched with every step further now. The hands that had held others up now covered her own face in mistrust. The eyes that used to glisten now had been weighed down by the ghosts of self doubt.

Fearing the loss of her identity in the over-riding wave of sterotype, she moulded herself into what others perceived normal. The spontaneity withered. The realness faultered.
She was lost in her ownself, blinded by the idea of normalcy that they had set out for her.

Be more like her they said.
Be happier they said.
Be free. Be alive. Be youthful they said.

Be yourself, they never said.

There she was again, lost in the crossroads of the realm of happiness and the projection of the perfect girl.
She struggled to find herself again. Kicked frantically into the cuffs that held her down, gagging into the suffocation that societal expectations had caused.

She was one of them now. Limp, lifeless and not herself.
She had transformed into what she had been proud of not being. She had crossed over to the other side. She was a woman of many facades now.

 Yet somehow, she was still one of a kind.

The Chronicles of Flesh and Metal

"..But... never mind."
I don't know about you but a lot of my conversations have ended like this.
I'm from the awkward generation that saw the ethnicity in handwritten letters as well as the swiftness in e-mails. We didn't have a hard time deciding what was better because owing to human nature, we slipped into that which was more convenient and comfortable. Technology.
They say that had it not been for technology we'd still be ripping raw meat off bones with our teeth. While that's taking it too far, fact remains that we would be far behind in terms of development and progress. Yes, we have covered large grounds in those fields but since everything comes with a price, this did too.

What we gave up for the sake of societal and monetary progress was just as crucial if not more. 
Connectivity. Communication. Humanity. Care.
In your every day life you probably don't even have the time to sit back and think it through, but if you look just a tad bit deeper, you'll see that somewhere in the rat race to god knows where, we seem to have snapped the cord that held us together.

I feel for the generation that followed mine, deeply. Ours transcended into technology in our adolescent years, letting us taste the raw earthen way that bound people together. These kids, they've tumbled into the abyss of this cruel angel called technology since their infantile years. A six year old can unlock a phone and play a song of his choice these days. When I was six, I was barely learning to access paint on my box-computer that I sorely miss.

I'm ashamed to accept the fact that I can't keep a phone conversation going for too long. I prefer texting over calling because I can conveniently tune out if the conversation hits a dead-end.
All these soul stirring quotes about how people prefer meeting in person than have a conversation over the phone do more justice nuzzled behind the flat LED screens. In real life, it's just something they say. Some claim they make. Some worldly statement they throw because it sounds so damn good.

Truth is, our real lives have come to a grinding halt.
We smile at our phones more than we greet the people around us.
We embrace our virtual lives much more than we even try to soak up our real lives.
And that isn't even the saddest part. What's worse is that we've grown to like it. We've made it our way of life. Something so entwined in our everyday reality that we seem to have lost touch with the real reality anymore.

That being said, technology isn't exactly up for evasion. Because then our virtual lives would come to a screeching halt too, and we'd be left with potentially nothing.
Stepping out to admire the chastity of nature doesn't hurt. Neither does inviting people over for a cuppa instead of sending those animated emoticons of steaming cups that do nothing good for my morning anyway.

We've started to lose touch with flesh and mass. Our system has adapted to metal and scratch-proof glass screens.

In this digital world where someone's "last seen" matters so much, more often than not we fail to recollect when we last met.